Asshole of the Day, December 19, 2013: Phil Robertson
“Duck Dynasty” is about a bunch of supposed rednecks who just so happened to get rich selling duck calls. It makes for good TV, but a while back, photos of the cast members looking remarkably clean-cut went viral, suggesting maybe the whole “redneck” angle was just a ruse for ratings.
Thanks, Phil Robertson, for proving that theory wrong.
Earlier this week, an interview Robertson did with GQ made the rounds. And during that interview, these comments tripped and fell from his mouth:
"It seems like, to me, a vagina — as a man — would be more desirable than a man’s anus, that’s just me … I’m just thinking: There’s more there! She’s got more to offer. I mean, come on, dudes! You know what I’m saying? But hey, sin: It’s not logical, my man. It’s just not logical."
Asked what he deemed “sinful,” the self-identified born-again Christian responded:
“Start with homosexual behavior and just morph out from there. Bestiality, sleeping around with this woman and that woman and that woman and those men … [But] we just love ‘em, give ‘em the good news about Jesus—whether they’re homosexuals, drunks, terrorists.”
As with all vocal homophobes, he’s spent a LOT of time thinking about two dudes getting it on. (Also, he shouldn’t be so quick to besmirch drunk gay terrorists. They’re fun at parties.)
Anyway, “Duck Dynasty” network A&E has now indefinitely suspended Phil from the show, saying in part, “His personal views in no way reflect those of A+E Networks, who have always been strong supporters and champions of the LGBT community.”
That’s all well and good, but for the record, no one at A&E can clutch their pearls here. They knew when they gave him a spot on the show that he was virulently right-wing, and they’ve made millions putting his and his family’s names and likenesses on everything from jewelry to board games to goddamned Chia Pets.
But back to Phil, who’s an even bigger asshole that you may already know – because the part of the interview that’s been roundly ignored by most media outlets is the one where he addresses race.
On growing up in pre-civil-rights-era Louisiana, he said:
“I never heard one of them, one black person, say, ‘I tell you what: These doggone white people’—not a word!… Pre-entitlement, pre-welfare, you say: Were they happy? They were godly; they were happy; no one was singing the blues.”
And as for why he voted for Romney instead of Obama (LOL as if), he non-explained that if he was stuck on the street at 3am, he’d rather be in Salt Lake City than Chicago. Which may be the best racist dog whistle ever, but then again, the man did get rich on duck calls, so maybe it’s not a stretch.
Despite A&E’s melodramatic public handwringing, this has all been marvelous publicity for “Duck Dynasty” – progressives are upset this guy is such a douche, and conservatives are upset he’s seemingly lost his job while exercising his right to free speech. (Note to all you armchair constitutional scholars out there: You have every right to say what you want. But if it pisses off your boss, he or she also has every right to fire you. ‘MERICA!)
It may shock you to know Phil Robertson has a master’s degree in education and even spent several years as a teacher. He’s not stupid. He’s just an asshole.
It is Phil Robertson’s first time as Asshole of the Day.
About the writer:
Blabberazzi.comdelivers pop culture and celebrity news with our own special brand of attitude and humor, keeping an unlimited number of side-eyes in reserve to use as needed. If gossip is a mortal sin, see you in hell.
And for a satirical take on the conservative outrage over Phil Robertson’s free speech rights to say whatever hateful things he wants and still collect huge checks from the sponsors of his show, here’s something Asshole of the Day co-founder TeaPartyCat wrote this morning:
Suspending Phil Robertson Violates The First Amendment! But, good news, here’s what YOU can do to fight back
Phil Robertson has been nominated for Racist Asshole of the Year, so vote for him now if he’s your pick.
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